I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
