oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My bed smells like the plague
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
