:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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