yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
