Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
