I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize