im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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