i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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