He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
