tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My life is pants optional.
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