Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
