It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
