Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
