Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize