one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
