my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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