I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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