awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
