Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
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I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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