I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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