Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
