I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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