I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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