Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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