Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
