either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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