wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
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Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
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I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.