"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
