Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year