I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.