Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
