Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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