I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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