Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Welp...herpes.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
