I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
