you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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