i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning