can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I want to be your penis for a week.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.