he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
