I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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