This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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