Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
