stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
