the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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