So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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