I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
