I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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