He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
