if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
