I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
