last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
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Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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