called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
