Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
