No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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