you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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