My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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