i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
