She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just sucked dick on a ferry
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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