When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
