I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We are all done wearing pants today
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
