She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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