Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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