his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize