she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
