so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
