Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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