I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
