i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
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I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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